exams are coming.
didn't see someone online for a few days.
most probably because of mugging for
the exams. and doesn't look in good shape
or mood in days.
other than having happiness in folding flying stuff.
i read.
i understand.
but i don't understand why
i'm still waiting for the person...

and even if i wait.
it's all going to end.
i'm the unstable atom,
half-life till full decomposition.
the person's going and gone soon enough.
sigh.

i decided to set full throttle for
mugging today.
sigh.
it's labour day but
i've to study.

i don't look very very forward to mye.
science test looks horrible.
i need to balance equations.
maths test seem ok but i'm not content.
i need to refresh my knowledge.
english compre went to the year lowest.
just have to stop making mistakes during the paper.
literature.
my poem is screwed.
sigh.
but my paper should be ok.
geo
is the only thing i need not care much.
i only need to refresh my knowledge for that too.
hist.
some drops in points.
chinese.
hopeless case.

i care of a pass.
but i care more of a position.

crap. science test was horrible.
UNSW test was better in terms of stress.

it's 30 April.
end of month
6 days to exam

my second-cousin Jaypee has come to stay in singapore for a few days.
and he came with his gf!
worry about swine flu (oh crap, lvl FIVE)

MYE:::MYE:::MYE:::MYE:::MYE:::MYE:::MYE:::MYE:::MYE
MYE:::MYE:::MYE:::MYE:::MYE:::MYE:::MYE:::MYE:::MYE

revision
(note: i decided to not care about what i did and care about what i have to do)

to do:
SCI: graphs, particulate model of matter and atoms/molecules/ions.
MATH: anything
HIST: read up on formats
GEO: other types of agriculture
LIT: read poems and characterization notes.


homework:
chinese worksheet
sci workbook
english essay

a week and days after competition.
pay up boots. $25
yellow paint. forget it for now.

i need to buy a new umbrella, new wallet.

transfer songs into mp4
make a flower out of paper planes for... ... i don't really know.

"the beginning of the half-life till end. i'm the unstable atom."

grey - time
orange - life
blue - academic
pink - financial
green - others

i don't know why i want to.
i need my mind back...

your mind thinks.
your heart feels.

never let your heart control your mind...

...

paper planes fly in the air.
my mind is flying on them.
i need to have them back.

i should be happy should i?
i am.
but pls...
oh god...

wooh, organisation posts are useful.

it's 28 April.
2 days before end of month
8 days to exam

my second-cousin Jaypee will come to stay on 30th and beyond for a few days.
worry about swine flu (LEVEL 4?!?!)

mye's coming up.
geo test on plantation agriculture.
sci test on acids and alkali, writing/balancing chemical formulas.

revision
done:
plantation agriculture on geo.
agriculture on geo.
math textbook scan-thru.
understood proportions.

yet to do:
refresh understanding on math workings and formulas.
read up on ions.
read up on changing matter and molecule/atoms.

homework:
DONE

a week and days after competition.
pay up boots. $25
yellow paint. $5

i need to buy a new umbrella, new wallet.

transfer songs into mp4
make paper planes in spare time.

"eat it before it spoils"

grey - time
orange - life
blue - academic
pink - financial
green - others

home
wore a polo and jeans out.

church.
a sermon i couldn't really relate to.
and it was kind of cliche:
putting Christ in the center of your life

well, it's meaningful alright.
but it seems to be always the similar story.

catechism.
a lesson on mother mary.
since may is the month
of mary.

np library.
top up prepaid accnt for computer usage.
didn't see anyone familiar.

northpoint.
ate with jj and kelvin.
brandon soon came.

burger king.
did math worksheet.
wake up call.
but had part of my mind refreshed.
i pulled my hair for some qns.
after math, jj left to go swim with victor.
then english summary.
was fun with the guys around.
i bought a cuppa so
i get a caffeine boost!

woodlands.
me and cs followed kelvin
to woodlands mrt
cos kel' wanted to buy some slippers.

causeway.
hunting for a hat.
window shopping lol.
then i found a hat.
$29.90
omg.
so ex.
we also went window'ing
some computers and printers.
mice and keyboard.
kelvin's such a gamer.
haha.

mrt'd and bus'd home.
didn't see anyone else familiar.
other than victor.

i should start blogging about weird/random chats
with ppl on msn.
~

chatted with xinpeng at 10+ last nite.
kept yawning.
srsly, it's normal to yawn.
it was like 10.30+ already.

---
me:*yawn...*
*yawn...*
xp: gawd , stop yawning in my face .
me: fine...
---

well, i gotta hunt for more weird conversations.
off to church.

let me organise myself.

it's 25 April.
5 days before end of month
10 days to exam

my second-cousin Jaypee will come to stay on 30th and beyond for a few days.

mye's coming up.
sci test on acids & alkali, balancing chemical formulas.

revision
refresh understanding on math workings and formulas.
read up on ions.
read up on changing matter and molecule/atoms.

homework
english summary
math worksheet

a week after competition.
pay up boots. $25
pay up UNSW fee. $13.95
pay up SMO fee. $38
ruler. 40 cents
yellow paint. $5

i need to buy a new bottle, new umbrella, new wallet.

get my pink file from chongsoon.

woo haha, color coded.

grey - time
orange - life
blue - academic
pink - financial
green - others

"The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. Stick poison in the cheese and you get both mice. :)"

time for quote hunting.
~

Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'. -Homer Simpson

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

He who laughs last didn't get it.

Skill is successfully walking a tightrope over Niagara Falls. Intelligence is not trying.
~

and a joke.
timothy was pestering me to tell him one when we were standing under the sun.
haha.

---
Pencil


A first grade teacher was trying to stimulate creative thinking in her pupils. She stood in front of the class with her hands behind her back and said, "I'm holding something behind my back. It's round and it fits in the palm of my hand. Who can guess what it is?"

Billy's hand went up and he asked, "Is it a baseball?"

"No, Billy," replied the teacher, "It's not a baseball. But you're thinking, and I like that."

Suzy's hand went up and she asked, "Is it an orange?"

"No, Suzy," replied the teacher, "It's not an orange. But you're thinking, and I like that."

Then Johnny spoke up: "Hey, teach, I don't know what you got in your hand, but I got something for you in my pocket. It's long and hard and pink on one end."

Shocked, the teacher cried, "Johnny, that's disgusting! You march yourself to the principals office right this instant!"

"Hey, relax," said Johnny. "I was talking about my pencil... But you're thinking, and I like that."
---
Love Like Old Times


An elderly couple were celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary, so they decided to return to the little town where they first met.

They sat in a small coffee shop in the town and were telling the waitress about their love for each other and how they met at this same spot. Sitting next to them was the local cop and he smiled as the old couple spoke.

After the waitress left the table, the old man said to his wife, 'Remember the first time we made love, it was up in that field across the road, when I put you against the fence. Why don't we do it again for old times sake?'

The wife giggled like crazy and said, 'Sure, why not.' So off they went out the door and across to the field. The cop smiled to himself, thinking how romantic this was and decided he better keep an eye on the couple so they didn't run into any harm.

The old couple walked to the field and as they approached the fence they began to undress. The old man picked up his wife when they were naked and leaned her against the fence. The cop was watching from the bushes and was surprised at what he saw.

With the vitality of youth, the wife bounced up and down excitedly, while the husband thrashed around like a wild man, then they both fell to the ground in exhaustion. Eventually, they stood up, shook themselves, and got dressed.

As they walked back towards the road, the cop stepped from his hiding spot and said, 'That is the most wonderful love making I have ever seen. You must have been a wild couple when you were young.' 'not really,' said the old man, 'when we were young, that fence wasn't electric.'

---

i've finally done my english compre.

i've finally done my journal.

argh. ms zuraidah's english homework
is a killer.
i know it's easy.
yes it is.
but i can't seem to bother holding that pen
and write down the paragraphs of sentences of words.

and for compre.
i know, i know.
it's supposed to be easy for me.
but the hard thing is that
i can't start.

i'm right now in the computer.
i've recently refreshed my understanding
of simultaneous equations.
though i've yet to refresh my understanding
of direct and indirect proportion workings.

should i start now?
am i procrastinating.
perhap i am.
i sure do.
maybe i'll facebook.
then finally start
writing.

to be honest.
i must be an avid blogger already.
or is it just because i make such short posts.

anyway.
yesterday was camp.
i couldn't do the 2nd day
cause i had the mye to care about.
i know it's just 1 day off.
it's kind of alot.
and it kind of not worth it too.

i would rather spend time studying,
which is worthwhile and for long-term,
than spend time with sec 1's
and go thru the almost same thing
I experienced already last year.

i know, it's kind of rude.
leaving sjab camp to the sec 1's only.
that sec 2's are not socialising with them.

but perhaps i leave the camp
for the sec 1's to experience themselves.
an experience i already have.

and most of the sec 2's are already
booking out.

no point doing an experience
all over again
without the people
you've previously
done it with.

the voice hiss and snarls.
i toss and turn in bed...
~i'm confused;
confused for nothing;
confused why?~

monsieur toni cuhadi is a great young photographer i have to say so myself.
well.

i booked out of camp.
some flares.
i didn't want to take sides.

still gotta revise for mye.,,

let me organise myself.

it's 22 April.
8 days before end of month.

my second-cousin Jaypee will come to stay on 30th and beyond for a few days.

mye's coming up.
hist test tmrw.

competition's over.
i need to pay up my boots.

i need to buy a new bottle, new umbrella, new wallet.

well. i guess this is it.
not much of an organisation. haha.

i found out something.
and i guess if it's going to be some sort of dilemma.
i might as well forget it quick.
it's some sort of paradox.

but hey, no one would actually fully understand me.
~

the slippery voice hisses at me.

~then what?
will you start it? then what?
then it will finally happened, then what?
you never think long term!
you never think well.
then?~

i owe a chocolate bar for a lost airplane.
lol
i wonder whether she ever knew what was the point of keeping the price tag on.
she owe me, $1.50
i owe her, none.

nah...
let the chocolate bar be kept.
i'll wear a top hat, point my gun at that bar.
~

anyway.
school was ok ok.
pe was ok.
mini-tennis.
science next.
something about pH and indicators.
history.
mr lee and sbq reliability test.
math
mr soo and quad eqns.
recess.
curry puff day.
english.
kelvin was sick.
michael was shocked.
haha.
health screening.
"cannot see" eye test.
back bone straight.
.
oh yeah the chocolate.
then again,
never mind.
.
literature.
back to more sick talk.
after school.
mr thiru and camp on fri.
and

***
memos to all the seniors who helped FAC.
THANKSTHANKSTHANKSTHANKSTHANKS
thank you very much.
thank you.
***

i went to sci proj next.
but didn't really do much.
because my prepaid accnt in library
was only TEN MINUTES of computer time.
lol
i couldn't top up with my new ez link card.
JQ and kelvin was remarking me as retarded.
and i'm kinda paranoid about it.
lol, i know they're joking.
i bought my correction tape.
jj wants me to buy new wallet.
well i do think i should.
just give me $100 i'll do my shopping.
but i still need to pay my boots.

they say a new class tee's coming up.
or a new cap.
kind of a waste of money, but hey.

well, i received 2 messages.

1) whether i'm gonna study for MYE or go for camp.
2) up for honouring next thurs not tmrw.

so, i'm going to camp.
i don't think i would start studying yet.

stress relieving music to soothe your mind and ears.
or you could just continue listening to pop, R&B, rap. whatever.

if the game's too big for the screen.
(i think it IS)
here's a link.
http://armorgames.com/play/3303/music-catch-2

k, tmrw gotta return the trophy for honouring ceremony.
funny that we have to return something we receive
just to receive it again for the sake of showing it.

and napfa stations tmrw.
can't wait to see my shuttle run and standing broad jump results.
and we're going 'balls' for pe!
ahem.

we did some math forum crap after school.
some silly questions.
but its cool that we get points for merely discussing.

mr yong wasn't at the staff room to get our lit poems.
heh.
my lit poem's about paper plane.
inspired by the paper plane card.
talking about that

:::
"you just took my plane. went 'airplane!' and threw it, what the."
"it's supposed to fly, what? it's a plane."
"but it's a card"
"well, if you want to make a card, you make a card; if you want a plane, you make a plane"
---
do i owe you chocolate?
you rejected my bread. haha. jk
:::

well, paper planes may be the new kite

anyway.
just recently, timothy asked me.

8:13 PM) timothyfoong:	and do you wanna go AA
(8:13 PM) ~i'll face out a:	wah, stress...hm why not. ok
(8:13 PM) timothyfoong:	!!
(8:14 PM) ~i'll face out a:	but i'm kinda tired of training already.
(8:14 PM) timothyfoong:	we're not starting training anytime soon
(8:15 PM) ~i'll face out a:	well, i don't mind doing another tense day of footdrill, long case (yay), short case and toc next year.
(8:15 PM) timothyfoong:	next year will be damn tense damn difficult
(8:15 PM) ~i'll face out a:	oh, then...
(8:16 PM) ~i'll face out a:	um...
(8:16 PM) timothyfoong:	okay, i'll take that as a yes first okay?
(8:16 PM) ~i'll face out a:	ok how about you?
(8:17 PM) timothyfoong:	still deciding.
(8:17 PM) ~i'll face out a:	well, if you're going i'm going. who the hell will call if i'm not.
(8:18 PM) timothyfoong:	haha
(8:18 PM) ~i'll face out a:	hah. well, good night. cya

hm. AA...
would i handle it.
would we?
well, if i'm gonna hold that phone hand sign again.
and work hard.
sure.
but not really...
hm.

hm, no library post.
but hey.

i'm here.
and i'm now doing my lit.

i've fixed the IE bug for my blog.
so, ppl using IE can finally click on the navs.
for goodness sakes, try using Mozilla.

look forward to a library post.
but i've yet to clear up my homework and buy yellow paint.
and found out that some people aren't pleased.

well, and this is the post for today.

~
2nd! woohoo.

here are all the related tags.
(not in order)

gel, clothes.
uniform, bus,
late, fall in,
water, prata,
nasi lemak,
socks, sec 1's
boots, shiny, not,
FAC, foot drill,
judge, kiwi-burn,
reserve, steward,
vanilla bun, water,
toc, blanket,
ugh, long case, happy happy,
hyperventilation,
gloves, fracture, sling,
3 buns, short case,
bleeding, hypoglycemia,
vital signs, paper bag,
gauze, spinal,
tired, sleepy,
prize, 2nd!
1st na,
3rd nc.
emotional here and there,
i wanted to laugh.
woohoo, haha
HAHAHA.
i'm so happy.

paper plane = bread.
na no. 2.
paper plane can't fly. lol. thanks anyway.
black good luck card.
rita ma'am.
spelt my name wrong!!! (what's wif the y??)

go back.
mrt,
top up card,
kite,
$10,
subway,
811,
go home,
take photo,
chat,
facebook, brandon.
friend,
blog.
the end.

this is my post for fri.
original ideas meant for that day may be influenced by events today.
in other words.
it's not accurate to date.
~

1 day to comp.

today to nafa 2.4km
and...
i passed.

thanks to:
chongsoon
kelvin
arika
yanfang
alin

who all helped in ways which they may not really notice.
and before that was english.

"i did my english chiong for 1 day and they gave me 19/30!?" - jq
"of course, you did it in short time" - me
"ya lor, and that shekinah criticise."
"then, why you chiong. wth"

lol, jq and his descriptive essay.

reccess.
chong soon and kelvin wonder
how the hell jq joined our group.
for me,
the same goes to df and micheal.

math,
my working got reject.
wtf...
heck.
it's just a mark.

and sci,
some experiment.

mr su say that go some crappy math forum.
my partner is yilin.
partially-trustable.
but i'm doubtful.
so, i decided to go.

then we found out cancelled to mon.
wtf.
then rush back to fall in.

turns out,
a drizzle fell upon the ac and nc.
no. 2 and no 3. problems.
and no. 1 and no. 3 respectively started their rivers flowing.

i'm a weird problem myself.
i can't solve life problems cos'
i don't really have any serious ones
myself.

normal training.
we try to polish boots.
we do some sets wif WS.
WS...
hm...
reserve must buck up.

somehow, i think i've just reached a crash landing of the window metaphor.

but woohoo, my no. 2 works has improved.

end of training, we do some weird cheer.
bleh, haha.
i gave my boots to ma'am rita.
hopefully it'll be shiny.
but when i got it back.
look's like my standard.
that's it.
my new boots can polish so well...

timothy gave his boots to
sir. ccy the day yester.

after training.,
i recieved a call from micheal from tim'thy;s
phone.
buying new watch.
oh well.

that's the end of the day.
well.
ok.

~
oh yeah, cs and i were having a chat after cca.
hm. and chongsoon wondered what type of person i am.
cos, he says he's face is the type that piss off ppl.
but why don't i get affected that easy?

i say that i'm a person why thinks very logically.
so, if you say i'm a failure.
i use logical sense to counter.
like;
why you think i'm a failure?
what makes this so hard to make me fail?
is this easy for you to pass?
etc etc.

but thanks to him.
i passed by 2 secs.
imagine the horror if i didn't pass.
we'll be 1 person short of 75% passes.
and i would be screwed.
yeah. and jj passed too.

2 days to comp.
...
i ditch my kites
for a first aid kit,
for a uniform, beret and boots.
...
just get this over with.
...
get over with well...
please, oh god...
please no...why now

since when?
i always tell myself that.

since when did i stare out at the window?
since when did i want to fly kite?
since when?

and for a metaphorical post.
~

I'll face out the window.
see time fly.
like the balloons in a storm;
in the midst of lightning and rain.
like the kites in a sunny day;
in the midst of a rainbow and clouds.

see time flying.
I'm lazing around
like the clouds.
but I'm en route
to the middle of a storm.

and I'll crash land.
oh god...not now,
not now please...

'you're fired'
'but you're not my boss'
'because i fired you.'

tsk, that was random.

i'm gonna go for sjab comp
training
tmrw.
hm...

as i bite upon this red, juicy apple.
i decided to make a post
~

tj asked me for help
with his problems.
i'm not the only one
he asked of course.
though i could be the only
one who didn't really much help.

well, that made me realise
that his problems
always involve a particular type
of people.

the type that:
blames,
doesn't take time to understand,
doesn't think before acting.

grim truth is
there will be always this type of
people.

now.
about me.

why don't i get any
depressing problems.
what's my way of
viewing it.

well,
i view those particular types
as
a joke.
a big joke.

well, perhaps it's my sense of confusion.
where i laugh and cry.
i laugh at the people whom i deem
their actions as
stupidity.
i cry at my laughter.
and yet smile at the end of it all.

so. basically you could say my life
is
a heck-care kind of life.
yeah.
something like that.

sadly.
not really having any problems
means that
i can't help people.
hm...

i feel as though
i want to revert
back to my
electronic music
times...

lalala.
alala.
sigh...
could not participate for mock comp tmrw.
i gotta recover.
wee seng is sick too.
wtf.
then how???
i borrowed the first aid manual from the library.
didn't know the particular version was available.
so, i need to read up.
sigh...

what's with all the disappointment people?
edit your life like pictures.

ugh. oh god,
not now...
not now please...

electronic music is supposed to make you trippy and high.
let your heart and mind open.
let the music flow with your life.

ugh...
shivering,
sweating,
39.5 and 39.1 degrees Celsius.
come on brian, recover...

mc for no pe/cca for 1 week.
damn,
i'm gonna miss 3 days of training.

ash helped.
not much actually.
all he wants is change.
all people want is change.
we're human, not dolls.

and all i need is the slippery voice...
~

"to love or not to love?"
~i give you now until then to answer~

"if i do."
~but 1st, can you?~
"must i?"

~if you don't~
"then what?"

~how do you feel now?~
"i feel this stupid feeling."
"that i want to laugh and cry"
"to cry at my laughter"
"to laugh at my cries"
"to laugh at others misery and anger"
"to cry at my confusion"

~do you want to?~
"i've already let her go"
"let her walk away"
~did she want to walk away?~
"or i suppose so"
"but what's the point?"
"she's already going and gone."
"was she even there at first?"
~or did you suppose so.~

~why do you suppose so?~
"cause i think...cause i don't really know."
"i want to know"
"i just want to know."

~how can you change~
"i can't"
~oh, of course.~
"i'm not a doll."
~to be dressed up~
~to be an ideal to every individual.~

"why don't you just walk away;
said i'm strong now i know that i'm a leaver;
i love the sound of you walking away, you walking away"

~you see her, you can't touch her;
you hear her, you can't hold her;
you want her, you can't have her;
you want to, but she won't let you~











~farewell~
"fare thee well"
~to the brown bags and glares~
"to the cold stares"
~to the bus stop chairs~

i suppose i won't make my weekly update today.
nor tomorrow, maybe.
~

It's the end.
I see the end;
The end of the tunnel.
No light at the end of it.
I exit and the starless night sky welcomes me.

I want to laugh and cry at the truth.
I'll laugh at the cries
I'll cry at the laughs.
Yet smile at the end of it all.

Because my tears dried out;
My voice died down.

My hearts no longer there,
For you,
To whom I don't really understand.

lol, i chatted just now with fatin, dickson, brandon.

"don't take it to heart.
take it to the stomach.
and if u're full. vomit"

so, thursday.

go fly kite.
want to go fly like kite.
woohoo.

i finally got a counter attack
to Jq's aristocrat thing.

he's a self-proclaimed aristocrat!
i'm a peasant in his English Noble Class
he's a peasant in my French Noble Class.
lol. nvm

so, ms sor never came
which is = no sci lesson.
and tmrw
also don't have lesson.
gasp. haha.

the acl finally did the photo collage
together with her gang.
ugh...
my pic with wee seng.
haha, rmb the times i sat beside him in front of the class.
soo's students.

bleah...
kinda amusingly disgusting.
but hey, that was like sec 1.
i didn't really know what i was doing then.

i commented on acl xinpeng's
focus-eyes-in-a-fierce-looking-manner
aka GLARE
lol ahah.

if she's gonna glare too much
she may have ws's eyes.
ok, jkjk.
seriously joking.
but how can one joke seriously?
never mind.

recess.
my frens still owe me money...
haha.
but i got a top-up of
cough~$12~cough
for allowance.
sigh....

came back to class.
stupid engbeng
vandalise the
2E3
at the back of the class.

go fly kite lah eng beng.
instead of writing
pointless crap like
F!CK and POKE.
even his spelling almost fail.

i seem to notice
the cl.s
particularly
the M, I, A, cl.s
use force or dictatorship
to lead or 'govern' the class.

not really every time.
just one example would
be the eng beng
cough~damn him~cough
incident.

the other half of the day was usual.
math~elimination.
history/geo etc.

mr yong of lit
commented on the pc.
lol.
no point of rmbering
the past for it holds no
use for the future.

AD tmrw's.
crap.
must...must.
arrange.

yawn.
i want to go fly kite.
i want to fly away like kite.