"losing it; loving losing it; my mind, my heart"

5 days post Saturday the 14th,
and I've taken no toll in my heart.
But, it's my mind that took it.

~
I'm confused; blind.
Sometimes I think
infatuation is stupidity;
I deny infatuations;
I admit infatuations;
I feel like its more than infatuation;
I feel like I'm just blinded by a
flash bang from cupid.

Sometimes i think it's over,
sometimes i think not.
But maybe it really is over,
but there's the same chapter
repeating itself.

~
Chapters?
Let's say I assume
my life as a book.
I'm not the writer,
I am never.
I'm the reader.
Love; Joy; Adventure;
Hate; Sadness; Lost
Those are the writers of my life.

Once again I say,
I'm the reader.
I read many chapters.
A perhaps this chapter
was the most interesting one
I've ever read.

~
This chapter,
The chapter I'm having!
Is the chapter written
by all the writers.
And for every interesting
chapter a reader has,
he reads it again;
and again;
sadly...again.

But for every book,
there is climax.
Soon there will be climax!
Perhaps it already is.

I'll get out of my interest.
Climax would be
one of turbulence.

~
On the Table of Mind,
the writers argue...

Give him love,
and it will blind him;
Give him joy,
and it will tire him;
Give him adventure,
and it will trap him in a forest of many paths;
Give him hate,
and it will craze him;
Give him sadness,
and it will drown him within the tears;
Give him lost,
and it will tear his resilience.

Then the ending;
What's the ending?
The ending,
is for the reader to
figure out himself...

But he knows,
for he is the head of the writers
And he pens his end
in the
Table of Mind.

'a trigger or a broken heart'
~the writer
But all endings don't come true, do they?