"i read and read. and it seems that i'm a insignificance to her life."
"losing this gamble, i didn't bet much."
navigate using the bars above
though i've moved, you still can see my archives.
TECHNO
ITS::RAVE::MUSIC::I::LOVE
P R O F I L E
me? oh me...
hello ^^ my name is Neil Brian. Brian like his Games, Everyone likeable, someone...maybe? and his Computer, Mozzila Firefox and Microsoft, though at the moment Mozzila Firefox is kinda popular and Microsoft still doubts that Firefox is THAT good. Brian is absolute fan of Any Techno/Dance/Electronica/Rock/Alternative/Oldies Artiste/Band You may not like them, but now you may do, so good for you yeah. Brian currently studies in Ahmad Ibrahim and is sec 2. Brian won't tell you any more about his life, too bad for you. I like it here I like it there but not deep in my heart. SOOO BAD heehee.
4Teen
RANDOM FACTS
RANDOM FACTS
well, i am 14 years old, i just said so.
ONEballoons are friends TWOthey are very VERY colorful friends THREEthey should never be held FOURthey should only be let up to fly in the air
FIVEwhistling is like blowing a balloon of sound SIXa sound that needs no instrument SEVENother than you mouth
EIGHTschool shooting isn't influenced by video games NINEonly by depression and hate
TENi like the letter L
ELEVENinsults are knives of words TWELVEbut should never be stabbed through the heart
THIRTEENdon't you even know? i let you. FOURTEENi love the sound of you walking away...
MUST DO MUST DO
YA!!! MUST DO.
I MUST, I MUST DO:
Think about Life, THE frickin hmwk, Think about this, think a about that, and PLAY!!! (YAY).
T A G B O A R D
leave a tag...but don't leave
8:14 PM - Friday, February 27, 2009
4:44 AM
"i feel as though there's something more, something to expect. but when it happens, nothing much happens next ."
the most intelligent conversation one can get, is with one's self...
~
"i'm a sad man"
~and a sad man you are~
"i'm a tired man"
~and tired you are~
"and always."
~sad and tired...~
"makes me a mad man"
~so, how's the gamble~
"i can't give up nor let go"
~u said it was easy~
"it sounds easy"
~you make it sound easy~
"perhaps i gambled too about whether it sounds easy"
~you never make sense~
"i'm confused"
~you're in love, buy a bouquet of roses, write a nice card and just give it to the person~
"love is confusing?"
~and blind~
"i'm not in love"
~liar, u tried.~
"i tried blindly, and..."
~just give flowers~
"i wish. but i do nothing"
~you're pathetic~
"i want to give up"
~give up and let go?~
"but..."
~you can't~
"i feel as though there's something more"
~something to expect?~
"but when it happens, even an insignificant scene, i feel..."
~that you got to do something. you've got a chance~
"but sadly, nothing happens much."
~you've got to try!~
"i'm trying to give up, but i can't!"
"if i'm trying to show love, i can't!"
~try~
"i'm letting go"
~don't, it's not over. there's something...~
"more? but nothing, nothing... happens next"
~it's a gamble~
"now i'm a blind gambler"
~you have no idea...~
"i...just have to wait"
~a hopeless wait, it's all going to be over when you know it.~
"nothing much happens next"
the most intelligent conversation one can get, is with one's self...
~
"i'm a sad man"
~and a sad man you are~
"i'm a tired man"
~and tired you are~
"and always."
~sad and tired...~
"makes me a mad man"
~so, how's the gamble~
"i can't give up nor let go"
~u said it was easy~
"it sounds easy"
~you make it sound easy~
"perhaps i gambled too about whether it sounds easy"
~you never make sense~
"i'm confused"
~you're in love, buy a bouquet of roses, write a nice card and just give it to the person~
"love is confusing?"
~and blind~
"i'm not in love"
~liar, u tried.~
"i tried blindly, and..."
~just give flowers~
"i wish. but i do nothing"
~you're pathetic~
"i want to give up"
~give up and let go?~
"but..."
~you can't~
"i feel as though there's something more"
~something to expect?~
"but when it happens, even an insignificant scene, i feel..."
~that you got to do something. you've got a chance~
"but sadly, nothing happens much."
~you've got to try!~
"i'm trying to give up, but i can't!"
"if i'm trying to show love, i can't!"
~try~
"i'm letting go"
~don't, it's not over. there's something...~
"more? but nothing, nothing... happens next"
~it's a gamble~
"now i'm a blind gambler"
~you have no idea...~
"i...just have to wait"
~a hopeless wait, it's all going to be over when you know it.~
"nothing much happens next"
3:24 AM - Thursday, February 26, 2009
"give up..."
love's a gamble.
you gamble your life for her love.
you'll lose it all when she's gone.
you'll have nothing left...
~
i really don't know why
that victor calls me blur.
zzz,
i'm not pissed off.
it's just that i find it stupid to call me blur.
seriously, if i'm blur.
i would have noticed that already.
and what the heck,
just because i fell the damn fall
at the 1st day doesn't mean
that it will leave me blur forever.
sigh.
wish he knew that...
~
i gambled my time for nothing.
i'm glad it's only my time...
~
screwed the heck up in footdrill.
stupid hand, go straight...
sigh...
i still have to handle chinese.
0le2 coming up...
end of the term coming up,
end of the yr's coming up...
to me.
~
"i give up..."
~and you suppose you're going to stay like that~
"i give up...and i let go"
~and u suppose it'll be easy~
"everything's easy"
~then why did you give up~
"because what i tried wasn't worth it"
~try what~
"try love"
~love, u suppose that what you 'love' was love?~
"perhaps i was blind. i couldn't tell..."
~no, love's blind~
"love's in me, blinds me"
~and so you give up~
"thus love leaves me"
~and so goes the blindness too~
"and so too..."
~and then what?~
"then i see true love"
~you couldn't tell love from 'love'. and you can't now...~
"and i give up?"
~give up...that's what you say. and?"
"just...give up"
~and...let go~
"it's all very easy..."
~you suppose~
"i suppose, but i know, i'm gonna try"
~try blindly~
"try luck"
~luck is blind too~
"luck and love, both are a gamble"
~and you'll lose it all?~
"yes"
~and it'll all be very easy~
"easy come, easy go..."
~and when all is gone~
"give up"
~and let go~
love's a gamble.
you gamble your life for her love.
you'll lose it all when she's gone.
you'll have nothing left...
~
i really don't know why
that victor calls me blur.
zzz,
i'm not pissed off.
it's just that i find it stupid to call me blur.
seriously, if i'm blur.
i would have noticed that already.
and what the heck,
just because i fell the damn fall
at the 1st day doesn't mean
that it will leave me blur forever.
sigh.
wish he knew that...
~
i gambled my time for nothing.
i'm glad it's only my time...
~
screwed the heck up in footdrill.
stupid hand, go straight...
sigh...
i still have to handle chinese.
0le2 coming up...
end of the term coming up,
end of the yr's coming up...
to me.
~
"i give up..."
~and you suppose you're going to stay like that~
"i give up...and i let go"
~and u suppose it'll be easy~
"everything's easy"
~then why did you give up~
"because what i tried wasn't worth it"
~try what~
"try love"
~love, u suppose that what you 'love' was love?~
"perhaps i was blind. i couldn't tell..."
~no, love's blind~
"love's in me, blinds me"
~and so you give up~
"thus love leaves me"
~and so goes the blindness too~
"and so too..."
~and then what?~
"then i see true love"
~you couldn't tell love from 'love'. and you can't now...~
"and i give up?"
~give up...that's what you say. and?"
"just...give up"
~and...let go~
"it's all very easy..."
~you suppose~
"i suppose, but i know, i'm gonna try"
~try blindly~
"try luck"
~luck is blind too~
"luck and love, both are a gamble"
~and you'll lose it all?~
"yes"
~and it'll all be very easy~
"easy come, easy go..."
~and when all is gone~
"give up"
~and let go~
5:25 AM - Friday, February 20, 2009
"does she?"
7 days post
Friday the 13th;
supposedly the unluckiest day.
but seems my clock is late by a week.
after sjab,
go bus stop
wait for bus.
812 came,
people came out of the bus;
probably went to eat soon after.
Comment about my hair.
everybody got mixed comments about my hair.
zzz.
811 finally came.
bad timing,
i wanted to buy curry puff.
done buying curry puff.
i go back to the bus stop.
then my bag strap went 'pop' (got snapped apart...by the weight maybe)
811 came again...
but i had to eat the curry puff...
I HAD TO.
then melissa maam came out of
an 812,
"huh? u went to eat with them just now"
~no i was eating my curry puff here all this time~
"u can eat inside bus rite?"
lol, bet she has no idea how
troublesome eating
a CURRY PUFF
in an 811 is...
spicy + water bottle + crumbs from the puff + stand up with alot of bags + crowded = what the heck.
thats it i think.
bye
7 days post
Friday the 13th;
supposedly the unluckiest day.
but seems my clock is late by a week.
after sjab,
go bus stop
wait for bus.
812 came,
people came out of the bus;
probably went to eat soon after.
Comment about my hair.
everybody got mixed comments about my hair.
zzz.
811 finally came.
bad timing,
i wanted to buy curry puff.
done buying curry puff.
i go back to the bus stop.
then my bag strap went 'pop' (got snapped apart...by the weight maybe)
811 came again...
but i had to eat the curry puff...
I HAD TO.
then melissa maam came out of
an 812,
"huh? u went to eat with them just now"
~no i was eating my curry puff here all this time~
"u can eat inside bus rite?"
lol, bet she has no idea how
troublesome eating
a CURRY PUFF
in an 811 is...
spicy + water bottle + crumbs from the puff + stand up with alot of bags + crowded = what the heck.
thats it i think.
bye
2:09 AM - Thursday, February 19, 2009
"losing it; loving losing it; my mind, my heart"
5 days post Saturday the 14th,
and I've taken no toll in my heart.
But, it's my mind that took it.
~
I'm confused; blind.
Sometimes I think
infatuation is stupidity;
I deny infatuations;
I admit infatuations;
I feel like its more than infatuation;
I feel like I'm just blinded by a
flash bang from cupid.
Sometimes i think it's over,
sometimes i think not.
But maybe it really is over,
but there's the same chapter
repeating itself.
~
Chapters?
Let's say I assume
my life as a book.
I'm not the writer,
I am never.
I'm the reader.
Love; Joy; Adventure;
Hate; Sadness; Lost
Those are the writers of my life.
Once again I say,
I'm the reader.
I read many chapters.
A perhaps this chapter
was the most interesting one
I've ever read.
~
This chapter,
The chapter I'm having!
Is the chapter written
by all the writers.
And for every interesting
chapter a reader has,
he reads it again;
and again;
sadly...again.
But for every book,
there is climax.
Soon there will be climax!
Perhaps it already is.
I'll get out of my interest.
Climax would be
one of turbulence.
~
On the Table of Mind,
the writers argue...
Give him love,
and it will blind him;
Give him joy,
and it will tire him;
Give him adventure,
and it will trap him in a forest of many paths;
Give him hate,
and it will craze him;
Give him sadness,
and it will drown him within the tears;
Give him lost,
and it will tear his resilience.
Then the ending;
What's the ending?
The ending,
is for the reader to
figure out himself...
But he knows,
for he is the head of the writers
And he pens his end
in the
Table of Mind.
'a trigger or a broken heart'
~the writer
But all endings don't come true, do they?
5 days post Saturday the 14th,
and I've taken no toll in my heart.
But, it's my mind that took it.
~
I'm confused; blind.
Sometimes I think
infatuation is stupidity;
I deny infatuations;
I admit infatuations;
I feel like its more than infatuation;
I feel like I'm just blinded by a
flash bang from cupid.
Sometimes i think it's over,
sometimes i think not.
But maybe it really is over,
but there's the same chapter
repeating itself.
~
Chapters?
Let's say I assume
my life as a book.
I'm not the writer,
I am never.
I'm the reader.
Love; Joy; Adventure;
Hate; Sadness; Lost
Those are the writers of my life.
Once again I say,
I'm the reader.
I read many chapters.
A perhaps this chapter
was the most interesting one
I've ever read.
~
This chapter,
The chapter I'm having!
Is the chapter written
by all the writers.
And for every interesting
chapter a reader has,
he reads it again;
and again;
sadly...again.
But for every book,
there is climax.
Soon there will be climax!
Perhaps it already is.
I'll get out of my interest.
Climax would be
one of turbulence.
~
On the Table of Mind,
the writers argue...
Give him love,
and it will blind him;
Give him joy,
and it will tire him;
Give him adventure,
and it will trap him in a forest of many paths;
Give him hate,
and it will craze him;
Give him sadness,
and it will drown him within the tears;
Give him lost,
and it will tear his resilience.
Then the ending;
What's the ending?
The ending,
is for the reader to
figure out himself...
But he knows,
for he is the head of the writers
And he pens his end
in the
Table of Mind.
'a trigger or a broken heart'
~the writer
But all endings don't come true, do they?
2:52 AM - Monday, February 16, 2009
"I more than what you think I am, and what you think I'm not"
I'm no happy man.
I cry and whine;
what happy people don't do.
I find her,
then what?
I see her,
then what?
She talks,
then what?
I talk,
then what?
What then.
What?
Nothing
I'm no happy man.
I cry and whine;
what happy people don't do.
I find her,
then what?
I see her,
then what?
She talks,
then what?
I talk,
then what?
What then.
What?
Nothing
4:30 AM - Sunday, February 15, 2009
"Sigh, should I give up now. I read her post and I guess I'm not really in love at all."
12:23 AM - Saturday, February 14, 2009
"Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love."
:) sad face
:( happy face
+ minus
- plus
<3 less than 3
*this a heart, i don't care* heart
i'm contradiction.
i'm dead, i'm still here.
solo-ing valentines...unless.
:) sad face
:( happy face
+ minus
- plus
<3 less than 3
*this a heart, i don't care* heart
i'm contradiction.
i'm dead, i'm still here.
solo-ing valentines...unless.
5:05 AM - Thursday, February 12, 2009
"When you're pissed off, you made yourself piss off like that"
here's my theory i made up in the toilet.
seriously, just an hour ago i was daydreaming in the toilet
when i did whatever business which isn't yours to know.
i realized,
why the hell do
people get pissed of?
just because someone did a bad thing to them
doesn't mean they made them feel the way they are.
example:
A scolds/makes fun/teases B. B get's pissed off.
B says it's A who made him piss off.
yea right...
The reason why you pissed off
is because YOU made yourself piss off.
It's YOU!
it's PEOPLE's action that make you react with an emotion.
it's YOU who determine what emotion you react with.
if i were to kiss a girl.
the kiss (action) makes the girl react with
either:
a slap,
a blush,
a laugh (she thinks you're a frickin joke),
etc.
IT's her choice to react with.
just because you made that reaction (the kiss)
does NOT immediately determine her REACTION for you.
that's all.
natural emotions are crap.
so stop being pissed off,
no one made feel that way but
YOU...
here's my theory i made up in the toilet.
seriously, just an hour ago i was daydreaming in the toilet
when i did whatever business which isn't yours to know.
i realized,
why the hell do
people get pissed of?
just because someone did a bad thing to them
doesn't mean they made them feel the way they are.
example:
A scolds/makes fun/teases B. B get's pissed off.
B says it's A who made him piss off.
yea right...
The reason why you pissed off
is because YOU made yourself piss off.
It's YOU!
it's PEOPLE's action that make you react with an emotion.
it's YOU who determine what emotion you react with.
if i were to kiss a girl.
the kiss (action) makes the girl react with
either:
a slap,
a blush,
a laugh (she thinks you're a frickin joke),
etc.
IT's her choice to react with.
just because you made that reaction (the kiss)
does NOT immediately determine her REACTION for you.
that's all.
natural emotions are crap.
so stop being pissed off,
no one made feel that way but
YOU...
11:19 PM - Tuesday, February 10, 2009
"812? whoa. that's kinda far."
lalala...get the cool shoeshine.
hm, i just came to blog a short post.
k, that's it. i gtg do hmwk.
lalala...get the cool shoeshine.
hm, i just came to blog a short post.
k, that's it. i gtg do hmwk.
1:58 AM
sigh...someone got pissed of.
not by me.
i don't care...
but i don't know why i typed this..
not by me.
i don't care...
but i don't know why i typed this..
1:54 AM
df said my blog was dead...
i'll prove him wrong!
and i have!
here's my TO-REVIVE-THE-DEAD-BLOG blog post.
damn maths.
idk how to do fractions.
i'll prove him wrong!
and i have!
here's my TO-REVIVE-THE-DEAD-BLOG blog post.
damn maths.
idk how to do fractions.
7:31 PM - Friday, February 6, 2009
"infatuation is the world's greatest illusion"
i'm waiting for combat arms to patch.
so, i decided to take the chance to post.
what is a student's greatest priority?
his love life or his school life?
or does he think he a genius and can live both?
i've never really been truly in love before.
sad guy eh?
yea right...
i tell myself honestly, what is future determined by?
one's decisions in love or decisions in school?
can a couple in school be a success in life.
or can a scholar be?
why am i writing this goddamn thing?
all i really know is,
crushes are the world's greatest illusion.
i've 16 in my 13 years of living?
and have it done anything good in my life?
16 crushes! am i a success in living?
if i love someone right now,
what's the point?
of course, it's not that i'm not ever loving anyone.
but not now.
now's too early...
i'm waiting for combat arms to patch.
so, i decided to take the chance to post.
what is a student's greatest priority?
his love life or his school life?
or does he think he a genius and can live both?
i've never really been truly in love before.
sad guy eh?
yea right...
i tell myself honestly, what is future determined by?
one's decisions in love or decisions in school?
can a couple in school be a success in life.
or can a scholar be?
why am i writing this goddamn thing?
all i really know is,
crushes are the world's greatest illusion.
i've 16 in my 13 years of living?
and have it done anything good in my life?
16 crushes! am i a success in living?
if i love someone right now,
what's the point?
of course, it's not that i'm not ever loving anyone.
but not now.
now's too early...
3:26 AM
"man have the will to survive, but coward to succumb to death."
so, lately...
ppl have been pissed of by life.
ppl have been bored of life.
i've been infatuated over 10+ times, but who the hell cares?
sjab'ing today. mock comp training.
i ate at long john silvers.
and went back home.
and watch youtube.
and blog.
lately, so...
so, lately...
ppl have been pissed of by life.
ppl have been bored of life.
i've been infatuated over 10+ times, but who the hell cares?
sjab'ing today. mock comp training.
i ate at long john silvers.
and went back home.
and watch youtube.
and blog.
lately, so...
5:23 AM - Tuesday, February 3, 2009
back to the cold...
A R C H I V E S
time goes by
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
May 2010